Courage, Truth, and Love

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

For those of you that have felt deep pain and sadness over the last 2 years in America, I leave this video for you. Sometimes, it is not the messages that we give that are revolutionary and healing, but the messages that get from others that had the bravery and courage to work on their own healing. With that, I will leave you this.

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Old Friends, New Friends, Red Fish, Blue Fish

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

I know! The title doesn’t make any sense. When I wrote old friends, new friends…it sounded like some sort of Dr. Seuss title so I filled it in. This weekend was an unexpected blast and a total blessing. I generally spend my weekdays and weekends fretting about money and how we’re going to pay the bills. This weekend, we were invited to the home of new friends to spend a little time paranormal investigating. My husband, my youngest son, and myself headed toward a small town in western Iowa with our best couple friends.

You really don’t know how much you’re caught in the day-to-day drab of life until you force yourself out of it for a night or two. The older I get, the more stubborn and fixated I am with staying home. The thought of packing up your clothes, toiletries, food, and your children’s stuff and getting into the car for a long trip makes you hold back tears. I am so grateful for the friends in my life that push me to go places because I always have a wonderful time no matter what we do. I’m like a bitchy old 84 year old even though I’m only 42. I feel like I’ve lived 1000 earthly lives and I came back to this dumpster called Earth where people treat others like shit because their skin is a little darker or they carry an extra ass-cheek in their dairy-air. Who cares? All we are supposed to do here on Earth is love each other. That’s it people. Love each other.

This weekend I got to know a group of people from a small town that were absolutely amazing. From a young stunning energy in her 20’s to a whipper-snapper of a woman whose age I won’t mention, I spent a majority of the weekend laughing. It always strikes me that the most amazing people I’ve met on this Earth have suffered horrendous loss and find a way to pick themselves up again and find some form of laughter in life again. I do believe that God puts people into our lives for each other’s benefit and I needed these individuals at much as they needed me this weekend. I miss small town life and the neighbors that just open their door to you each and every single day. I know I’m not done with the city, yet…but, I definitely yearn for life to slow down a little and just enjoy a campfire and a swim in a backyard pool again.

I left for the city because I was tired of being the entertainment and I needed stimulus that only a populated city could offer. I found that stimulus, but it has always come at a cost. As a good friend put it today, in the city you can be driving and for no reason someone will drive by you and just flip you off. If you’re not careful and reflective, that one lovely gesture can set your whole day up for failure. If you are flipped off in a small town, you know the person that flipped you off and they were probably doing it as a joke to make you laugh before you headed into work.

It is hard to meet people in the city because everyone is traveling a million miles an hour and there’s a lack of trust. This weekend, I stayed at the home of a couple that I’ve only met one other time and they welcomed us in as if we were family. It was wonderful and such a blessing that I can’t even put it into words. I am so grateful for old friends and new friends that give me so much hope for the future. I felt alive again this weekend and I haven’t felt that for a very long time. Life is so short and even though there is so much darkness in this world, our friends often hand us beams of light to help us find our way. I’m so grateful for the light you offered myself and my family this weekend and I can’t wait to share in the good times and laughter again soon!

Do You Hate Your Job?

I’ve had many jobs in my lifetime. I have flipped burgers at A & W, was a maid at the Red Carpet Inn, chopped salads at my college cafeteria, was a self-defense instructor, substitute taught in the public schools, taught grades 5-12 in the public schools, became an EMT-B, a realtor, taught part-time as a college professor, and am now trying to successfully run a YouTube Channel and blog. I can definitely state the only job that I really hated was flipping burgers!

You thought I’d say being a maid, didn’t you? Actually, being a maid was such hard work that I lost 22 pounds in less than 2 months. Who wouldn’t love that? Now that I’m older and carrying more weight than I want to admit, I’ve thought about going back to being a maid part-time, but then I remember the pubes in the bathtub, the underwear in the sheets, and the pizza stains on the wall and I quickly give up on that idea! I think it drives the older generation crazy that young people switch jobs all the time. I never wanted to come home every night and gripe about how much I hated my job, though. I heard that a little too much even from my friend’s parents.

I never wanted to get to the end of my life and regret all the time I spent in a job that I hated. I started to feel that way during my 5th-6th year of teaching public school. My classroom started feeling like a prison cell that I had to go to every day. The kids were fabulous! I always loved the kids, but the time that students spend in school is way too long. Teachers could instruct everything that students need to know in half the time and they’d probably behave much better. That’s why I began working on my Ph.D. because I knew I wouldn’t make it in public education for 30+ years.

There is so much to liking and hating your job. There were times that I struggled with my job because of my boss or coworkers and they made it next to impossible to stay. It was my friends at work that helped me to stay. I stayed too long, though. I burned out big time and I don’t ever want anyone to go through that. Knowing what you don’t like about your job is really important in deciding whether or not to continue. This is why I built this video. I researched as many scenarios about job dissatisfaction that I could so people could determine the real reasons why they didn’t like their job. There is a difference between disliking your job and needing to quit versus disliking your job and potentially needing to transfer. Take a look at this video and let me know what you think!

Top 10 Signs a Man is Attracted to You

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

Ladies! You didn’t think I would leave you out, did you? Yes, there are physical and psychological signs that a man likes you too! The only caution I’m going to put out there is to say there are “touchy feel-y” men that fulfill all of these signs every single day to every woman they meet. They have no idea that they’re sending out all of these signals! If a man seems too flirty, there’s probably a reason for that. To me, that’s a red flag. Three red flags and I’m waving the white one and walking away.

I have been married for 20 years and it hasn’t been perfect, but I know I picked the right guy because no matter what life throws as us, both of us have the flexibility to sit down, talk about all aspects of the problem, and compromise our situation. We’ve dealt with being broke, having in-law problems, children with disabilities, Type 1 Diabetes, Celiac Disease, Autism, unemployment, switching jobs multiple times, moving, and mental health issues. We’ve almost called it quits a couple times, but at the root of our marriage is respect, pure friendship, and love. I am a firm believer in being friends first before starting a romantic relationship. Trust me. When times get tough, having a strong friendship goes farther than finding someone attractive or lusting after them. The years go quickly and I can honestly say that I’ve shared them with my best friend, which feels better than anything else would.

Hubba….hubba….right? LOL!

ADHD

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is now in edition 5 and ADD is no longer considered a mental illness. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) still exists, but a new understanding of hyperactivity has been embraced. Hyperactivity can exist on the outside by not being able to sit still, climbing on things, or running about, but it can also exist on the inside within a person’s mind. An individual can have a mind that never sits still, runs about, and climbs all over the place. This is why ADHD in girls has often been misdiagnosed. The two main symptoms of girls with ADHD are a mind that never stops moving and a lack of organization (messiness).

Some other symptoms of females that have ADHD are losing important items such as car keys, a purse, money, or their phone. Another symptom is not being able to find something that is sitting right in front of their face. If you have a child that says, “I study for hours and hours and I always get a B+ or an A-. Why can’t I ever get an A?” Individuals with ADHD have to study and read four times as long as others in order to retain the information. Reading can be extremely challenging in that an individual might work through 2-3 sentences and then find their mind shifting to something else. They may then have to go back and read those 2-3 sentences over again. This is why it takes a person with ADHD four times as long to read and study as compared to others.

Some other interesting facts about ADHD include children sometimes being immature as compared to their peers, struggling with bed wetting longer, as well as being bullied by peers because they don’t pay attention in school and then get called names because of it. One of the items I wanted to do with this blog post is to talk about the blessings and gifts of ADHD. Yes, there are wonderful things that come along with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Let’s stop thinking about mental illness as only having negative components.

I believe that all 3 of my siblings including myself have ADHD. I am the only one that is medicated at the moment. I think there is great creativity that comes from those with ADHD. My brother is a second grade teacher and his creativity is amazing. When he taught a lesson on farms and cows, he borrowed nursing gloves from a clinic and filled them with colored water and taught his students how to milk a cow. When he teaches math, he uses scooters and has his kids scooter to the sum of 3+6. His students love him and learn so much from him in one academic year.

My sister is the same way! There is never a boring moment when I spend time with my sister and her family. She finds the most unique shows, games, and places for us to go. We spend time talking and her stories are hilarious! Her house looks like a tornado hit it most of the time and she has trouble organizing it, but that’s not where her gifts are and I’m glad she doesn’t focus on what’s unimportant. This is why I wanted to share two books that I really love in relation to ADHD.

https://www.amazon.com/ADHD-Advantage-Diagnosis-Greatest-Strength/dp/0399573453/ref=as_sl_pc_qf_sp_asin_til?tag=drkerrisdillo-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=d7b1224531d9fb538764c43154cfd924&creativeASIN=0399573453
https://www.amazon.com/Help-Women-ADHD-Strategies-Conquering/dp/1544182708/ref=as_sl_pc_qf_sp_asin_til?tag=drkerrisdillo-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=d40f1d3f4190e32b83ca8e835384156c&creativeASIN=1544182708

Disclaimer – these two books are a part of affiliate marketing. The blogger will gain a small percentage of each book purchased through this site. This helps to keep this blog running and helps to pay for yearly fees.

Reparations

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

One of the hot topics for the 2020 election is reparations for slavery. I’ve heard presidential candidates talk about it and various Congresspersons express interest in a Congressional study. Mitch McConnell (the Senate Majority Leader) stated that as long as he led the Senate, he’d make sure no such bill ever made it to the floor. So, what are reparations for slavery and what would they look like?

To prepare for this piece, I read scholarly articles and examined various websites concerning reparations. In my investigations, I found the goals of reparation for African Americans (specifically slavery) are two-fold. The first part of a reparation would consist of an official apology by the United States government for the allowance of slavery. The second part of reparations would mean a Congressional study in which data would be collected concerning African American history.

https://www.amazon.com/Science-Black-Lives-Matter-shirts/dp/B07DDBNJBT/ref=as_sl_pc_qf_sp_asin_til?tag=drkerrisdillo-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=556e9b7f36a70c5777c182e1efb149e3&creativeASIN=B07DDBNJBT

It is because of the labor of slaves, the labor of sharecroppers, and the barriers of discrimination that certain companies, businesses, and families were able to build their wealth in America. The cost of slavery and discrimination has meant that African Americans have not had equal access to high quality education, housing, and healthcare. The Pew Research Center conducted studies showing that white families have 20 times the wealth that African American families do ( https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2019/3/11/18246741/reparations-democrats-2020-inequality-warren-harris-castro).

The United States government already paid reparations for Japanese Americans that were placed in internment camps during WWII. Companies such as JP Morgan Chase, Wachovia, Aetna, and the Lehman Brothers released public apologies for their use of slavery in the advancement of their businesses (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/point-taken/should-us-pay-reparations-black-americans/#intro). Isn’t it time for the United States government to at least announce a formal apology for slavery within the United States? The United Nations urged the American government to begin paying reparations for slavery after they examined the issue during an 11-day mission in 2006 ( http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/point-taken/should-us-pay-reparations-black-americans/#intro). Isn’t it time to at least begin Congressional studies gathering data concerning African American poverty, incarceration rates, and access to healthcare?

https://www.amazon.com/SayitBands-Matter-Silicone-Wristband-Bracelet/dp/B01J4C1PA8/ref=as_sl_pc_qf_sp_asin_til?tag=drkerrisdillo-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=0f14d0ba268751fcba944399a9e53696&creativeASIN=B01J4C1PA8

There is no doubt the data would be extremely telling. This is why there is such fear with actually doing so. Movements such as Black Lives Matter have been suppressed with counter-movements stating that All Lives Matter, but the counter-movement alone represents a further suppression of the discrimination that African Americans face. The Black Lives Matter movement was a well-needed and important protest against the enormous inequalities of incarcerated Black youth, a lack of adequate healthcare, as well as quality education. No matter the mode that individuals or groups attempt to gain equality for Black Americans, somehow the movement gets pushed aside or some type of obnoxious distraction becomes present.

When are we as Americans going to start to face the mistakes we’ve made and own up to the inequalities that exist within our nation? I was a high school history teacher for 10 years and I never sugarcoated the mistakes our nation made or continued to make as a country. I believe our children deserve the truth about how Americans have behaved in the past so that we don’t make those same errors in the future. Students who can accurately access history in a multifaceted way become adults that consider decisions using a variety of perspectives. Empathy is extremely important and making decisions that serve the greatest good will have the most successful outcome in the future.