Hatred in the Nation

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

I just got on Facebook to quickly buzz through some photos and posts and was distraught to find a picture of Ilhan Omar (D-Minnesota) with the words stating that those with shit in their brain had to wear a diaper on their head. I really didn’t know the person that posted it, but wanted to offer a response that wasn’t hateful and would potentially get him to think about his post. So, I responded that I was saddened by his post and that my heart dropped when I saw the picture with its caption. I told him that if it were Trump, I would still feel the same sadness about the post. I’ve been trying really hard not to respond to others with the anger that they pose. I feel that only feeds the fire of fear, ignorance, and puts me on the same level as this person.

The man that made the post replied to me that I was obviously not emotionally stable enough to read his posts and that if I didn’t like it, it was “to bad to sad”. He said some other hurtful things, but I’ve decided not to give him a forum for his hatred. Honestly, his lack of grammatical accuracy probably bothered me more than what he stated. I knew I wasn’t going to change him with any response that I offered, but I wanted to provide a response that would get him to stop and think about the picture he posted.

In this divided nation, I didn’t want to offer what this man expected. He expected to see agreements and disagreements to his post. This man responded to my replies within minutes that I posted them. This means he was on his computer looking for a fight, looking to see who were his allies and who were his enemies. I wanted to tell him that I was neither. I wanted to share with him the additional choice that we have each and every day we wake up in this great nation. As a mother, I don’t always like the behavior of my children, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them with my whole heart.

I do love this man that said such mean things to me. Of all the people in the world, he probably needs the most love right now. This doesn’t mean that I need to allow this man to further hurt me. I have already blocked him and won’t be talking to him in the future. I brought closure to the situation though by not falling into the trap of anger and power and said a prayer for him as I erased him from my life. I prayed for him to have others come into his life that can show him patience, tolerance, and acceptance. I was extremely blessed to have people in my life that showed me this road very early in my years. When I am falling off this road and am having a bad day, I surround myself with people that can help lift me back up and put me on the right path.

It is hard to be consistently reflective about the energy and words that I am putting into the world, but it is so important! Every day I wake up, I recognize I have a brand new slate that I can write on and put into the world. I’ve been researching near death experiences (NDE’s) and have watched over 50 individuals talk about meeting God and coming back to Earth with messages to the human race. The one that I keep repeatedly noting is God telling these people that the only thing that matters in this life is how we treat and love each other on this Earth. Watching these videos made me realize that I have a third choice in this divided nation.

Every human has a past and I do not know this man’s past. Maybe others have hurt him so deeply that he lashes out to protect himself against future hurt? Had I shown him anger, it would have only provided justification for his mindset. It feels very freeing to focus on those around me that I can love and lift up. I gave that man to God because I’m not God and I cannot perform miracles. I do believe that if enough people could provide this man with understanding, compassion, and patience that he will eventually learn to love himself as well as others that may be different from him. I will continue to pray that those people come into his life. If our nation is going to pull through this difficult time, it is important to be in the lives of others that think differently than we do. It doesn’t work to tell others how they should think or that they are wrong, but to show them how good compassion and understanding feel when we provide them in this world.

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Courage, Truth, and Love

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

For those of you that have felt deep pain and sadness over the last 2 years in America, I leave this video for you. Sometimes, it is not the messages that we give that are revolutionary and healing, but the messages that get from others that had the bravery and courage to work on their own healing. With that, I will leave you this.

Old Friends, New Friends, Red Fish, Blue Fish

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

I know! The title doesn’t make any sense. When I wrote old friends, new friends…it sounded like some sort of Dr. Seuss title so I filled it in. This weekend was an unexpected blast and a total blessing. I generally spend my weekdays and weekends fretting about money and how we’re going to pay the bills. This weekend, we were invited to the home of new friends to spend a little time paranormal investigating. My husband, my youngest son, and myself headed toward a small town in western Iowa with our best couple friends.

You really don’t know how much you’re caught in the day-to-day drab of life until you force yourself out of it for a night or two. The older I get, the more stubborn and fixated I am with staying home. The thought of packing up your clothes, toiletries, food, and your children’s stuff and getting into the car for a long trip makes you hold back tears. I am so grateful for the friends in my life that push me to go places because I always have a wonderful time no matter what we do. I’m like a bitchy old 84 year old even though I’m only 42. I feel like I’ve lived 1000 earthly lives and I came back to this dumpster called Earth where people treat others like shit because their skin is a little darker or they carry an extra ass-cheek in their dairy-air. Who cares? All we are supposed to do here on Earth is love each other. That’s it people. Love each other.

This weekend I got to know a group of people from a small town that were absolutely amazing. From a young stunning energy in her 20’s to a whipper-snapper of a woman whose age I won’t mention, I spent a majority of the weekend laughing. It always strikes me that the most amazing people I’ve met on this Earth have suffered horrendous loss and find a way to pick themselves up again and find some form of laughter in life again. I do believe that God puts people into our lives for each other’s benefit and I needed these individuals at much as they needed me this weekend. I miss small town life and the neighbors that just open their door to you each and every single day. I know I’m not done with the city, yet…but, I definitely yearn for life to slow down a little and just enjoy a campfire and a swim in a backyard pool again.

I left for the city because I was tired of being the entertainment and I needed stimulus that only a populated city could offer. I found that stimulus, but it has always come at a cost. As a good friend put it today, in the city you can be driving and for no reason someone will drive by you and just flip you off. If you’re not careful and reflective, that one lovely gesture can set your whole day up for failure. If you are flipped off in a small town, you know the person that flipped you off and they were probably doing it as a joke to make you laugh before you headed into work.

It is hard to meet people in the city because everyone is traveling a million miles an hour and there’s a lack of trust. This weekend, I stayed at the home of a couple that I’ve only met one other time and they welcomed us in as if we were family. It was wonderful and such a blessing that I can’t even put it into words. I am so grateful for old friends and new friends that give me so much hope for the future. I felt alive again this weekend and I haven’t felt that for a very long time. Life is so short and even though there is so much darkness in this world, our friends often hand us beams of light to help us find our way. I’m so grateful for the light you offered myself and my family this weekend and I can’t wait to share in the good times and laughter again soon!

Do You Hate Your Job?

I’ve had many jobs in my lifetime. I have flipped burgers at A & W, was a maid at the Red Carpet Inn, chopped salads at my college cafeteria, was a self-defense instructor, substitute taught in the public schools, taught grades 5-12 in the public schools, became an EMT-B, a realtor, taught part-time as a college professor, and am now trying to successfully run a YouTube Channel and blog. I can definitely state the only job that I really hated was flipping burgers!

You thought I’d say being a maid, didn’t you? Actually, being a maid was such hard work that I lost 22 pounds in less than 2 months. Who wouldn’t love that? Now that I’m older and carrying more weight than I want to admit, I’ve thought about going back to being a maid part-time, but then I remember the pubes in the bathtub, the underwear in the sheets, and the pizza stains on the wall and I quickly give up on that idea! I think it drives the older generation crazy that young people switch jobs all the time. I never wanted to come home every night and gripe about how much I hated my job, though. I heard that a little too much even from my friend’s parents.

I never wanted to get to the end of my life and regret all the time I spent in a job that I hated. I started to feel that way during my 5th-6th year of teaching public school. My classroom started feeling like a prison cell that I had to go to every day. The kids were fabulous! I always loved the kids, but the time that students spend in school is way too long. Teachers could instruct everything that students need to know in half the time and they’d probably behave much better. That’s why I began working on my Ph.D. because I knew I wouldn’t make it in public education for 30+ years.

There is so much to liking and hating your job. There were times that I struggled with my job because of my boss or coworkers and they made it next to impossible to stay. It was my friends at work that helped me to stay. I stayed too long, though. I burned out big time and I don’t ever want anyone to go through that. Knowing what you don’t like about your job is really important in deciding whether or not to continue. This is why I built this video. I researched as many scenarios about job dissatisfaction that I could so people could determine the real reasons why they didn’t like their job. There is a difference between disliking your job and needing to quit versus disliking your job and potentially needing to transfer. Take a look at this video and let me know what you think!

Top 10 Signs a Man is Attracted to You

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

Ladies! You didn’t think I would leave you out, did you? Yes, there are physical and psychological signs that a man likes you too! The only caution I’m going to put out there is to say there are “touchy feel-y” men that fulfill all of these signs every single day to every woman they meet. They have no idea that they’re sending out all of these signals! If a man seems too flirty, there’s probably a reason for that. To me, that’s a red flag. Three red flags and I’m waving the white one and walking away.

I have been married for 20 years and it hasn’t been perfect, but I know I picked the right guy because no matter what life throws as us, both of us have the flexibility to sit down, talk about all aspects of the problem, and compromise our situation. We’ve dealt with being broke, having in-law problems, children with disabilities, Type 1 Diabetes, Celiac Disease, Autism, unemployment, switching jobs multiple times, moving, and mental health issues. We’ve almost called it quits a couple times, but at the root of our marriage is respect, pure friendship, and love. I am a firm believer in being friends first before starting a romantic relationship. Trust me. When times get tough, having a strong friendship goes farther than finding someone attractive or lusting after them. The years go quickly and I can honestly say that I’ve shared them with my best friend, which feels better than anything else would.

Hubba….hubba….right? LOL!

ADHD

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is now in edition 5 and ADD is no longer considered a mental illness. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) still exists, but a new understanding of hyperactivity has been embraced. Hyperactivity can exist on the outside by not being able to sit still, climbing on things, or running about, but it can also exist on the inside within a person’s mind. An individual can have a mind that never sits still, runs about, and climbs all over the place. This is why ADHD in girls has often been misdiagnosed. The two main symptoms of girls with ADHD are a mind that never stops moving and a lack of organization (messiness).

Some other symptoms of females that have ADHD are losing important items such as car keys, a purse, money, or their phone. Another symptom is not being able to find something that is sitting right in front of their face. If you have a child that says, “I study for hours and hours and I always get a B+ or an A-. Why can’t I ever get an A?” Individuals with ADHD have to study and read four times as long as others in order to retain the information. Reading can be extremely challenging in that an individual might work through 2-3 sentences and then find their mind shifting to something else. They may then have to go back and read those 2-3 sentences over again. This is why it takes a person with ADHD four times as long to read and study as compared to others.

Some other interesting facts about ADHD include children sometimes being immature as compared to their peers, struggling with bed wetting longer, as well as being bullied by peers because they don’t pay attention in school and then get called names because of it. One of the items I wanted to do with this blog post is to talk about the blessings and gifts of ADHD. Yes, there are wonderful things that come along with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Let’s stop thinking about mental illness as only having negative components.

I believe that all 3 of my siblings including myself have ADHD. I am the only one that is medicated at the moment. I think there is great creativity that comes from those with ADHD. My brother is a second grade teacher and his creativity is amazing. When he taught a lesson on farms and cows, he borrowed nursing gloves from a clinic and filled them with colored water and taught his students how to milk a cow. When he teaches math, he uses scooters and has his kids scooter to the sum of 3+6. His students love him and learn so much from him in one academic year.

My sister is the same way! There is never a boring moment when I spend time with my sister and her family. She finds the most unique shows, games, and places for us to go. We spend time talking and her stories are hilarious! Her house looks like a tornado hit it most of the time and she has trouble organizing it, but that’s not where her gifts are and I’m glad she doesn’t focus on what’s unimportant. This is why I wanted to share two books that I really love in relation to ADHD.

https://www.amazon.com/ADHD-Advantage-Diagnosis-Greatest-Strength/dp/0399573453/ref=as_sl_pc_qf_sp_asin_til?tag=drkerrisdillo-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=d7b1224531d9fb538764c43154cfd924&creativeASIN=0399573453
https://www.amazon.com/Help-Women-ADHD-Strategies-Conquering/dp/1544182708/ref=as_sl_pc_qf_sp_asin_til?tag=drkerrisdillo-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=d40f1d3f4190e32b83ca8e835384156c&creativeASIN=1544182708

Disclaimer – these two books are a part of affiliate marketing. The blogger will gain a small percentage of each book purchased through this site. This helps to keep this blog running and helps to pay for yearly fees.