Turn the Sound Down

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

If I wasn’t in pure survival mode, I’d be in tears. Mike (my husband) and I just returned from the ENT (ear, nose, and throat) doctor and found out Mike has severe hearing loss in one ear and moderate hearing loss in the other. I asked a multitude of questions only to find out that Mike’s earbuds, which I have been asking him for years to turn down were the culprit. I can’t help, but to be pissed at Mike as well as the inventors of earbuds. When I got home, I gathered my children together and took away their earbuds immediately.

My husband is 41 years old. 41!!!!!!! I feel bad for lecturing him the minute we left the clinic, but damnit this didn’t have to happen. I’ve heard from so many wives that have been telling their husbands for years to do this or do that, but to no avail. Do our husbands think that we enjoy nagging and bitching? I told Mike there is a reason that I nag and bitch because I told him this was going to happen and he completely ignored it. Now, we have to pay for expensive hearing aids that he might or might not wear and his kids are going to have to scream in order for him to hear them. This not only impacts him, but it impacts those around him including his children.

I can reflect on some of my own behavior that isn’t the best that I’d like to change and I think about this each and every day that I make decisions. Why isn’t this the same for others? When I teach psychology, there is a statistic that I find very interesting!!! Men that are single (neither in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship) are at a 250% higher risk of death than are men in a relationship. This is directly correlated to the fact that married men or men in relationships have partners that force them to go to the doctor and attempt to take care of themselves. Many of the women that I’ve worked with describe how this often leads to feelings of resentment or a want for the marriage to end because of it.

I would love to understand why there seems to be this difference between men and women? Is it because mothers tend to take care of their sons, but teach their daughters to advocate better for their own self-care? Is there something in the brain of men that is different from women when it comes to health and well-being? I guess I would love to find out if it is genetically related or if it is learned? I watch my boys dismiss what I ask them to do whereas if my husband asks them to do something, they generally comply. It is all so strange to me and frustrating. I understand why so many women get to later life and just give up on their partners and focus on their own career and friendships more. I find myself continuously burned out by all the needs of the men in my household and how little they are able to observe and reflect upon their own bodies. Any feedback from the blog world would be wonderful and welcome!

Organized Religion

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

Do you ever have strange memories from childhood that seem to be burned into your brain? Just today, I was thinking about the Lutheran church I attended as a child and how one of our pastors told us how too much questioning could lead us down the road of evil. As I think about this as an adult, it perplexes me. Why would you say this to a group of children? As a teacher, I always taught the opposite. Question everything! It is the only way to know truth from fiction.

As an adult, I’ve tried out so many different churches like the Presbyterian church, the Mormon church, the Lutheran church, the Methodist church, non-denominational churches, and have even read scripture from non-Christian religions. There are two things that drive me absolutely nuts about organized religion! 1) They all claim that there is no other way to God, but through their religion. This is the number 1 red flag that sends me running out the front door. 2) The ungodly behaviors and belief systems of some of the members. Every week the pastor or minister talks about non-judgmental behavior and its importance and every week the same pew-huggers wait for you to arrive so they can check you off their “naughty-nice” list like they are the Lord’s elves.

I think this is why I’ve always been drawn toward meditation and daily prayer on my own. Those that know me pretty intimately would tell you I’m a pretty spiritual person that keeps God at the forefront. I only talk openly about my relationship with God with those that are my most trusted allies. My sister is one of those people. We don’t really talk ever, but when we do I know our priorities are in the very same place…family and God. Nothing else comes near to that.

One of the reasons I don’t talk a-lot about God in public is because I believe it’s a very private relationship between yourself and the Creator. When I see people running around spouting God’s name every 2 seconds, they usually have some motive in doing so. Sometimes, they’re trying to get you to attend church because they want company or fear that a lack of your attendance might mean an infinity in hell. Either way, it’s just not my thing and it doesn’t motivate me to share love and become a better person.

To me, God’s love exists my husband’s undying patience for others that I find to be cruel and ignorant. God’s love exists in my children as I see them immediately become gentle around children that are much younger than them. God’s love exists in dogs that are continuously abused by their owners and crawl back on their bellies, hoping for a smile from the person they love most in life. Those are the times I connect to the Creator and a warmth of energy fills my body. I see those small bits of God’s love every single day that I wake up and interact with the world around me.

This doesn’t mean that organized religion doesn’t work for others. I think church has its place for many people within the world. I would just pray for others to recognize that church attendance doesn’t necessarily equate to love and kindness from members of the congregation. It just drives me up the wall when people meet me, recognize my kindness, and ask me what religion I am.

I will try to explain my current private connection to God and they will respond with, “That’s really too bad that such a sweet and kind person like yourself doesn’t attend church. I can give you the address of my church if you’d like.” What are you trying to say? That I will burn in hell because I don’t show up for 1 hour a week in a wooden pew, sing some hymns, and listen to a sermon constructed by a woman or man that’s been to college studying biblical history? I guess I’ll agree to disagree if that’s the case.

I suppose if people want to get technical, we could add up all the time I spend talking to God in a day and compare/contrast that to what the average church-goer does. Still, I don’t believe God would be too impressed by the comparison/contrast. For those that do ask me about my relationship with God, I usually answer, “Each day I wake up, I ask God to put me into the lives of those that need uplifting, support, and love. If I am too tired to provide that, please allow the circumstances to rest my body and mind so I don’t produce negativity in a world that needs so much love right now. If I can, help me to find the words that you would offer.”

I am a normal person that seeks God out in all of my flaws, even my swearing. That’s the God that I know. God’s my best friend. I don’t need to shout it from the rooftops or convert people to a certain church. God is in the patience that I provide my children each day as they leave their messes all over the house and I calmly remind them to clean it up. God is in the hesitation and eventually stopping from a forward movement when someone drops their papers all over the floor and I bend over to help even though I am late to a meeting. I guess I’ll remain on the church’s naughty-list, but I am at total peace with the Lord and His/Her love as I am.

Finding God in Human Anatomy

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

I just finished a video about the anatomy of the eyeball. I know! Why would anyone care about the anatomy of the eyeball? I do! I love it! In this one little part of the human body (about the size of a golf ball) there are so many intricate parts that have to work together to allow a person to see. Each and every time I have studied various parts of the human body, it strengthens my belief systems in God. Only God could put so many intricate parts together to function as a whole. I think science often gets a bad rap because people don’t think it aligns with religion, but I would disagree with this. The more I learn about science the more I shake my head in amazement at the complexities and gifts that God has given us.

I have a doctorate in psychology and I enjoy studying human beings and their behaviors, but I’m often surprised at how many psychologists and counselors don’t have an understanding of the human body. The brain itself is absolutely amazing and it is the one part of the body that doctors, scientists, and psychologists still have very little understanding of. If I could, I would buy my own MRI and electrodes and start researching all different facets of the brain and human behavior. I’d probably get into trouble by the APA, but my fascination with human behavior is endless! Mix this with a passion for parapsychology and I’m a truly happy camper.

I am fascinated by studies that have one group of people prayed for versus another and their outcome. I can’t read enough about individuals that have survived a terminal diagnosis. I would love to study healing energies like Reiki to observe what type of outcome it has with obesity, exhaustion, cancer, brain injuries, or other human illnesses. I love to learn and throughout this learning, I keep recognizing the infinite power of God and the multifaceted directions that have been laid out for us to find His/Her miracles. Watching a new baby being born is definitely one of those miracles that everyone should see in their lifetime. There is truly nothing like it! If you are feeling a lack of connection with God I know this sounds sounds weird, but connect with a little science.

UFO Sightings

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

Today, Robert Mueller testifies concerning the Mueller report about Russia’s involvement in the 2016 election. News reports over the last 2 years have been consistently about President Trump and his antics. It is surprising the amount of news that people have missed out on because the country’s narrative is wrapped up in Washington D.C.’s drama.

For example, on May 1, 2019 Newsweek put out a story about UFO sightings that have increased substantially since 2014. Apparently, U.S. Navy personnel reported that UFOs have been photographed and videoed multiple times each month near military bases and other locations. Hundreds of soldiers have viewed these strange flying objects that defy the Earth’s gravity and move in ways that are technologically impossible. Before you start freaking out and go running for the hills, I want to offer you some interesting information I’ve gathered from a great friend of mine as well as from the UFO community.

In one of the documentaries that I watched on Netflix, a military general talked about nuclear testing and how after the atomic bomb was dropped in the 1940’s, strange UFOs appeared in the sky and dismantled nuclear warheads each time they were tested. Of course, I don’t know if this is true, but it really helps me to look at the situation with a positive mindset. What if a species that wasn’t human was attempting to protect us from ourselves? I don’t know about you, but aliens haven’t been my favorite topic to talk about because generally movies and TV shows show them as scary and volatile. When my good friend first introduced the idea to me that UFOs might exist to protect us, it changed my whole frame of reference.

This is when I began watching some shows here-and-there as well as reading some of the government documents that have been declassified to the public. That’s when I started to become shocked by what I was reading! Why hasn’t the media paid more attention to this? It’s almost like the government was saying, “Yep. They’re here. They’re real.” I couldn’t believe what I was reading! I will definitely post some links to the information when I write more about it in some additional blogs. I wanted to take the chance to begin this discussion as I’m surprised more people aren’t talking about this.

With all the strange hype about “Storming Area 51” and the Facebook page, which is difficult to dissect (no pun intended) are people really considering moving onto restricted land run by the Air Force? There are military soldiers with guns that protect that land and are authorized to shoot if people begin trespassing. Why is this happening now as compared to 5-10 years ago? Is this really a joke, but has turned into a movement because the UFO community is willing to die in search of the truth? Are we ready to know the truth? Does our military know the truth?

Immigration Raid

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

I know I’ve been absent for a little bit, but it’s because I’ve been working on an important video. Given everything that is going on at the border right now, I felt it important to tell this story. Our family and community lived through the worst immigration raid in U.S. history at that point. It was horrible! It changed every person’s life including ours. Here it is.

Hatred in the Nation

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

I just got on Facebook to quickly buzz through some photos and posts and was distraught to find a picture of Ilhan Omar (D-Minnesota) with the words stating that those with shit in their brain had to wear a diaper on their head. I really didn’t know the person that posted it, but wanted to offer a response that wasn’t hateful and would potentially get him to think about his post. So, I responded that I was saddened by his post and that my heart dropped when I saw the picture with its caption. I told him that if it were Trump, I would still feel the same sadness about the post. I’ve been trying really hard not to respond to others with the anger that they pose. I feel that only feeds the fire of fear, ignorance, and puts me on the same level as this person.

The man that made the post replied to me that I was obviously not emotionally stable enough to read his posts and that if I didn’t like it, it was “to bad to sad”. He said some other hurtful things, but I’ve decided not to give him a forum for his hatred. Honestly, his lack of grammatical accuracy probably bothered me more than what he stated. I knew I wasn’t going to change him with any response that I offered, but I wanted to provide a response that would get him to stop and think about the picture he posted.

In this divided nation, I didn’t want to offer what this man expected. He expected to see agreements and disagreements to his post. This man responded to my replies within minutes that I posted them. This means he was on his computer looking for a fight, looking to see who were his allies and who were his enemies. I wanted to tell him that I was neither. I wanted to share with him the additional choice that we have each and every day we wake up in this great nation. As a mother, I don’t always like the behavior of my children, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them with my whole heart.

I do love this man that said such mean things to me. Of all the people in the world, he probably needs the most love right now. This doesn’t mean that I need to allow this man to further hurt me. I have already blocked him and won’t be talking to him in the future. I brought closure to the situation though by not falling into the trap of anger and power and said a prayer for him as I erased him from my life. I prayed for him to have others come into his life that can show him patience, tolerance, and acceptance. I was extremely blessed to have people in my life that showed me this road very early in my years. When I am falling off this road and am having a bad day, I surround myself with people that can help lift me back up and put me on the right path.

It is hard to be consistently reflective about the energy and words that I am putting into the world, but it is so important! Every day I wake up, I recognize I have a brand new slate that I can write on and put into the world. I’ve been researching near death experiences (NDE’s) and have watched over 50 individuals talk about meeting God and coming back to Earth with messages to the human race. The one that I keep repeatedly noting is God telling these people that the only thing that matters in this life is how we treat and love each other on this Earth. Watching these videos made me realize that I have a third choice in this divided nation.

Every human has a past and I do not know this man’s past. Maybe others have hurt him so deeply that he lashes out to protect himself against future hurt? Had I shown him anger, it would have only provided justification for his mindset. It feels very freeing to focus on those around me that I can love and lift up. I gave that man to God because I’m not God and I cannot perform miracles. I do believe that if enough people could provide this man with understanding, compassion, and patience that he will eventually learn to love himself as well as others that may be different from him. I will continue to pray that those people come into his life. If our nation is going to pull through this difficult time, it is important to be in the lives of others that think differently than we do. It doesn’t work to tell others how they should think or that they are wrong, but to show them how good compassion and understanding feel when we provide them in this world.

Courage, Truth, and Love

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

For those of you that have felt deep pain and sadness over the last 2 years in America, I leave this video for you. Sometimes, it is not the messages that we give that are revolutionary and healing, but the messages that get from others that had the bravery and courage to work on their own healing. With that, I will leave you this.

Old Friends, New Friends, Red Fish, Blue Fish

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

I know! The title doesn’t make any sense. When I wrote old friends, new friends…it sounded like some sort of Dr. Seuss title so I filled it in. This weekend was an unexpected blast and a total blessing. I generally spend my weekdays and weekends fretting about money and how we’re going to pay the bills. This weekend, we were invited to the home of new friends to spend a little time paranormal investigating. My husband, my youngest son, and myself headed toward a small town in western Iowa with our best couple friends.

You really don’t know how much you’re caught in the day-to-day drab of life until you force yourself out of it for a night or two. The older I get, the more stubborn and fixated I am with staying home. The thought of packing up your clothes, toiletries, food, and your children’s stuff and getting into the car for a long trip makes you hold back tears. I am so grateful for the friends in my life that push me to go places because I always have a wonderful time no matter what we do. I’m like a bitchy old 84 year old even though I’m only 42. I feel like I’ve lived 1000 earthly lives and I came back to this dumpster called Earth where people treat others like shit because their skin is a little darker or they carry an extra ass-cheek in their dairy-air. Who cares? All we are supposed to do here on Earth is love each other. That’s it people. Love each other.

This weekend I got to know a group of people from a small town that were absolutely amazing. From a young stunning energy in her 20’s to a whipper-snapper of a woman whose age I won’t mention, I spent a majority of the weekend laughing. It always strikes me that the most amazing people I’ve met on this Earth have suffered horrendous loss and find a way to pick themselves up again and find some form of laughter in life again. I do believe that God puts people into our lives for each other’s benefit and I needed these individuals at much as they needed me this weekend. I miss small town life and the neighbors that just open their door to you each and every single day. I know I’m not done with the city, yet…but, I definitely yearn for life to slow down a little and just enjoy a campfire and a swim in a backyard pool again.

I left for the city because I was tired of being the entertainment and I needed stimulus that only a populated city could offer. I found that stimulus, but it has always come at a cost. As a good friend put it today, in the city you can be driving and for no reason someone will drive by you and just flip you off. If you’re not careful and reflective, that one lovely gesture can set your whole day up for failure. If you are flipped off in a small town, you know the person that flipped you off and they were probably doing it as a joke to make you laugh before you headed into work.

It is hard to meet people in the city because everyone is traveling a million miles an hour and there’s a lack of trust. This weekend, I stayed at the home of a couple that I’ve only met one other time and they welcomed us in as if we were family. It was wonderful and such a blessing that I can’t even put it into words. I am so grateful for old friends and new friends that give me so much hope for the future. I felt alive again this weekend and I haven’t felt that for a very long time. Life is so short and even though there is so much darkness in this world, our friends often hand us beams of light to help us find our way. I’m so grateful for the light you offered myself and my family this weekend and I can’t wait to share in the good times and laughter again soon!

Do You Hate Your Job?

I’ve had many jobs in my lifetime. I have flipped burgers at A & W, was a maid at the Red Carpet Inn, chopped salads at my college cafeteria, was a self-defense instructor, substitute taught in the public schools, taught grades 5-12 in the public schools, became an EMT-B, a realtor, taught part-time as a college professor, and am now trying to successfully run a YouTube Channel and blog. I can definitely state the only job that I really hated was flipping burgers!

You thought I’d say being a maid, didn’t you? Actually, being a maid was such hard work that I lost 22 pounds in less than 2 months. Who wouldn’t love that? Now that I’m older and carrying more weight than I want to admit, I’ve thought about going back to being a maid part-time, but then I remember the pubes in the bathtub, the underwear in the sheets, and the pizza stains on the wall and I quickly give up on that idea! I think it drives the older generation crazy that young people switch jobs all the time. I never wanted to come home every night and gripe about how much I hated my job, though. I heard that a little too much even from my friend’s parents.

I never wanted to get to the end of my life and regret all the time I spent in a job that I hated. I started to feel that way during my 5th-6th year of teaching public school. My classroom started feeling like a prison cell that I had to go to every day. The kids were fabulous! I always loved the kids, but the time that students spend in school is way too long. Teachers could instruct everything that students need to know in half the time and they’d probably behave much better. That’s why I began working on my Ph.D. because I knew I wouldn’t make it in public education for 30+ years.

There is so much to liking and hating your job. There were times that I struggled with my job because of my boss or coworkers and they made it next to impossible to stay. It was my friends at work that helped me to stay. I stayed too long, though. I burned out big time and I don’t ever want anyone to go through that. Knowing what you don’t like about your job is really important in deciding whether or not to continue. This is why I built this video. I researched as many scenarios about job dissatisfaction that I could so people could determine the real reasons why they didn’t like their job. There is a difference between disliking your job and needing to quit versus disliking your job and potentially needing to transfer. Take a look at this video and let me know what you think!

Top 10 Signs a Man is Attracted to You

By, Dr. Kerris Dillon

Ladies! You didn’t think I would leave you out, did you? Yes, there are physical and psychological signs that a man likes you too! The only caution I’m going to put out there is to say there are “touchy feel-y” men that fulfill all of these signs every single day to every woman they meet. They have no idea that they’re sending out all of these signals! If a man seems too flirty, there’s probably a reason for that. To me, that’s a red flag. Three red flags and I’m waving the white one and walking away.

I have been married for 20 years and it hasn’t been perfect, but I know I picked the right guy because no matter what life throws as us, both of us have the flexibility to sit down, talk about all aspects of the problem, and compromise our situation. We’ve dealt with being broke, having in-law problems, children with disabilities, Type 1 Diabetes, Celiac Disease, Autism, unemployment, switching jobs multiple times, moving, and mental health issues. We’ve almost called it quits a couple times, but at the root of our marriage is respect, pure friendship, and love. I am a firm believer in being friends first before starting a romantic relationship. Trust me. When times get tough, having a strong friendship goes farther than finding someone attractive or lusting after them. The years go quickly and I can honestly say that I’ve shared them with my best friend, which feels better than anything else would.

Hubba….hubba….right? LOL!